Advice to Female Residents and Medical Students: Delay Having a Baby During Training

Hello, it’s Dr. Mogga. Today, I want to share some advice for young women who are medical students or residents. If you have a partner—whether you’re married or cohabiting—during your training, I strongly advise you to hold off on having children until you’ve finished your residency. Delay, delay, delay as much as possible.

I speak from personal experience. I had a baby in my fourth year of medical school, and going into residency with one child was extremely challenging. Residency programs do not factor in the demands of being a full-time mother or the time needed to care for yourself and your family. My advice? Use contraceptives and “seal that uterus” until you’re done with residency. It was so hard—I wouldn’t go through it again.

My Experience

My children are the love of my life and my greatest blessings. I had my first child in my fourth year of medical school and my second child in my first year of residency. While I welcomed them with open arms, the challenges I faced compared to my peers were immense.

Imagine being on rotation, expected to:

• Be at the hospital by 5:00 or 6:00 a.m.
• Round on patients, participate in team discussions, and fulfill your duties as a resident.
• Give sign-out at the end of the day and go home.

But for me, the work didn’t stop there. I had to:

• Breastfeed my child in the middle of the night.
• Juggle night shifts until my child was 3 months old, at which point I enrolled her in daycare.
• Manage two children in daycare, carrying strollers and car seats, all while being sleep-deprived and running on empty.

The Reality of Residency and Motherhood

My partner is from a typical African household, and while he helped, the majority of childcare responsibilities fell on me. This included:

• Feeding the babies.
• Preparing their meals, packing lunches, and organizing their diaper bags.
• Cleaning the house, cooking fresh meals, and grocery shopping on weekends.
• Bathing the children, washing their clothes, and ensuring the house was in order.

I went to bed at midnight almost every day. After putting the kids to bed at 10:00 p.m., I’d study for an hour or two, leaving no time for myself or maintaining friendships. Socializing with colleagues, which is crucial for networking and understanding departmental dynamics, was impossible for me.

What I Would Do Differently

If I had to do it all over again, I would:

1. Delay having children until after residency.
2. Hire a nanny. At the time, it was culturally unheard of for me to have a nanny, but in hindsight, I would take out a loan to pay for one to ensure I could get a full night’s rest.
3. Reconsider breastfeeding. While breastfeeding is beneficial, the demands of residency made it nearly impossible. I returned to work just six weeks postpartum, and the lack of time to pump or care for myself was overwhelming. In hindsight I would consider pumping, and feeding a baby breastmilk using a bottle, which a night nanny can do to allow me to sleep at night.

The Toll on Mental and Physical Health

Pregnancy brain, baby brain, lack of sleep, hormonal changes, and postpartum depression can take a significant toll on your concentration and energy levels. During my first year of residency, I had my second child in December. The following three months were some of the hardest of my life. It was difficult to stay awake, maintain focus, and keep up with the demands of residency while also caring for a newborn.

Final Thoughts

If you’re considering having a child during residency, think carefully about the challenges. As an attending physician, you’ll have more control over your schedule, finances, and overall stability. But as a resident, you’re at the mercy of your program, and the added responsibility of raising a child can be overwhelming.

My advice? Put the “baby maker on lockdown” until you finish residency. You’ll thank yourself later.